My Witty Roommate

Part I
Ryan says: so i was late this morning due to a de-railed freight train
Alicia says: Uh, that's crazy
Ryan says: yeah sucked balls
Alicia says: so are you watching the inauguration
Ryan says: nope
Ryan says: trying to get all my ducks in a row. so that i can start killing fish

Part II
Ryan says: so i just got a random call from someone in washington DC
Ryan says: weird
Alicia says: Obama
Ryan says: wouldn't he have a chicago number?
Alicia says: Why Chicago
Ryan says: because that is where he is from
Alicia says: but he's moved. he lives in the white house now
Alicia says: new cell number maybe
Ryan says: i knew he would need my assistence
Alicia says: right
Ryan says: i am going to be the secretary of bomb ass mo' fo'
Ryan says: or pimpin'

What will he say next!?!?